I considered driving home in his mom's bathrobe until i realized i'd have to stop to buy cigarettes
She said she didn't have time to shave "there"
Then she shouldn't have had time to order the lobster.
My dad just told me if I'm going to smoke pot, to make sure I use a clean needle. WTF?
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
I feel like we're taking advantage of the fact that our R.A has cerebal palsey.
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
So I'm pretty sure I told every one at the party that "I'm going to fuck my pillow pets tonight?"
I hate ovaries. They're horrible little sacs of satanic enmity.
That's the most poetic description of female anatomy I've ever heard.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
Randomize
