so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
Making the executive decision for drunk you to not sleep in the lofted bed that has no ladder
She's licking the seat belt now. Feeling a little uncomfortable
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
You should've come out last night, I need someone to explain why the bartender tried to strangle me...
He was drinking a long island through his Breathalyzer tube.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
You're fucking beautiful as shit and we should have loving sex...
Uhh dog found a condom. FYI its on the table by couch please dispose of it. No reply Necessary
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I'm sitting in the car vaping at an elementary school to try and deal with the stress of existing. About how i thought being 30 would go for me tbh
His mom just pulled off a quadruple cockblock. I'm not sure if I'm mad or impressed?
Randomize
