Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
My vibrator challenges you to a duel.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Nothing like being naked and confused and clutching a scented candle...at least I woke up in my own bed though.
Did you throw up out the back door and cover it with paper towels?
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Randomize
