I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
He's hinting that I'm starting to be kicked out of their blunt rides, I can feel it.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
I miss yesterday.Today's hangover makes yesterday's look like a little girl with blonde ringlets playing hopscotch in the street with a ginger kitten.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Question #1: Why am I on my living room floor? Question #2: Where did the bloody footprints come from? Question #3: Why are there two McChickens next to the wine bottle?
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
PSA Do not blow dry your junk.
Randomize
