Your favorite bartender is back from prision
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
she gave me head while i watched the '98 Rose Bowl on espn classic. Ryan Leaf really was a huge bust
He pulled his pants down and said blow me, while passing out on my bed. I then pulled his pants up as he continuously started moaning in the background.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
They're making him take his shirt off cause they think he's the bouncer. We're in his backyard.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
But I do cardio so I don't get winded during sex really it's not like I'm trying to lose weight
Did we seriously steal a wet floor sign from McDonald's then get chased down by a homeless man for it? Never drinking again.
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
You'll never fully grasp an awkward walk of shame until you run into his mom while you're trying to sneak out. Then to make matters worse you have to ask her to mover car because it's blocking you in.
and I lost my effing shirt.
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