Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
after we had sex he told me his original plan was to have sex with my roommate but his buddy likes her so i was backup
How did I end up in the pool?!
Welcome to ASU
I came out, you were peeing on the car and when I asked why you said it deserved it because its a rental
Gym?
Sweet baby Jebus, no. I'm Motley Crue hungover. This must be how it feels to rail a line of ants.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Adults smoke weed in footie pajamas man. You just gotta accept me for who I am.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
BITCH I AM EXPERIENCING THE FEMININE MYSTERY SHUT UP AND GIVE ME DRUGS
Dude. I’m playing chess through iMessage with a stripper. What has my life become.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
yeah, my mom got it for me because it had animals AND alcohol.
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