why is it that everytime a half black man enters something boring, it suddenly becomes sexy to people? golf? the presidency?
Nah, lets use your guy, my drug dealer is going all pineapple express on me
He set 8 alarms to make sure I took my birth control on time..
He's spent his last 3 years working at Urban Outfitters. No, I'm not sad I missed out on a life of mustaches, the dollar menu and shitty scarves.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well if my looks don't work with her I'll eat the 50 nuggets to impress her fat roommate.
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
To sum up. The glass blower from the ren faire ate me out last night. Best ever. Go find yourself an artisan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
I took an uber home at 6am. Went to Santanas, apparently they don't take american express. So the uber driver bought my burrito. Success!
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
Randomize