Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
I hope whoever gets these locks of love doesn't have a drug test anytime soon
After that we used the in-room hotel coffee pot to warm up some queso. it was brilliant
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Quesedillas should not make me weep and drinking water should not make me feel like god is giving me mouth to mouth. Never again.
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
he fucked me while wearing his "Reagan Bush '84" tank and my inner democrat has never been more disappointed
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
I dont understand why i cant be a wizard
I was trying to be good but he showed up with dinner and wine and I exploded. Like a bomb. A dirty, sexy bomb
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