Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
If I believed in "responsibility" and "having limits", I would probably say I consumed too much alcohol in the last 48 hours
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
I noticed a trail of vomit coming up the drive way. You must be home
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
When my beach tent arrives , I strongly suggest quitting our jobs and becoming homeless beach drunks
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
you said you were going to the bathroom. we found you an hour later laying in the backyard clutching a bottle of vodka while singing the beatles and crying
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