...she just doesn't genetically have the things I want my kids to have.
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Just fucked up my mustache shaving, gonna have to take it off because now it makes me look like a pedophile
FYI your old mustache made you look like a pedophile
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hold your horses dude. Titty pics are a work of art.
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Did you put candle wax on my balls last night?
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
He fucked me so hard my hair extensions fell out
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