Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
i took an adderall last night to write a paper. i ended up watching 7 hours of roseanne and couldn't look away
My mom just walked in on me and my girlfriend about to have sex. All she said was "You're lookin like a fool with your pants on the ground.."
I swear this girl is like a Cross between Danny Devito and Anne Heche....the Lesbian Years.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
I got used. This is the happiest day of my life. I was just a huge cock and that is all she needed.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
They are going to name an STD after you.
I may have unintentionally punched your cat twice but he's an asshole anyway.
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
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