Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
You know how you thought that you put on a condom last weel?
yea
turns out that you did...and i just found it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just recorded courtney puking and set it as my ringtone.
I want an alcoholic time machine so we could skip to new years eve
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Most people would probably take his lack of responses as a queue to stop. But nope, not me. I just keep going. And that's why I don't have a bf, just a little weinered friend
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
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