jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
Just woke up wearing a top hat and simpsons boxers. i also found more money in my wallet then what i had before going out, about $1000 more
She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
I think the pivotal moment was when we used the see and say as a drinking game with shots of whiskey. It was all downhill after that.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
I think I sprained my soul last night
I don't know. I was hiding and the bed was banging. I am going to sleep now in someone's car.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
My penis is saying yes, several less important organs are saying noo...
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
what the fuck happend anyway? How did it go from smoothies after work to blacking out?
Randomize
