Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
duuuude. vodka popsicles DO NOT function.
I just saw a guy in front of the courthouse giving himself a sobriety test and fail it...this can't end well
if you were drunk and peed in your friend's washing maching, would you send an "i'm sorry" text or say nothing at all?
all hypothetical of course
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
Who the hell poured a whole pouch of Capri Sun down my throat last night?
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
