Yea. The knew something was up when i told them i had to go pick up goat milk and and and a roasted chicken at 2 am
White Russians with skim milk. Fuck I'm healthy.
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
i'm gonna be such a cougar when i'm older...i just facebook stalked my little sister's 13 yr old boyfriend while drinking a bottle of wine....
all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
Because its Monday... And I'm determined to just be drunk for the rest of the semester
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I'm trimming my pubes right now and the battery was wearing down. So I chose to only trim one side. I cut the right side down and now I look like pubic two-face. Right all trim and near and left like a caveman.
I just watched some kid bang his girlfriend and I was like whatever I'll just sit here and do all your fucking drugs that's fine
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
It was a strange night. I made out with his college roommate and said "do you care?" beforehand.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize
