no, i will not be your spotter when you masturbate with a noose around your neck
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
It was a legit night tell he threw a snowball in the bar, thats when I knew it was time to go to the next bar.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
This is stupid. I am not getting knocked up from fucking in his backseat behind a starbucks. I refuse.
Pornhub is still operational. Therefore, the world has NOT come to an end in the blizzard!
Just realized I'm still chewing the same gum post blow job. This Stride shit really has everlasting flavor. They should totally have an ad campaign based on blow jobs.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
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