Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
So I've been thinking a lot since she told me she's prego. But what I want to know is why my voice of reason sounds like Thomas fucking Jane!?
she was laying naked in the stream looking for "ribbays", which is apparently drunk for frogs.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He tried to write down the address for the cab on half a bagel.
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
oh yeah, there may or may not be a large boa loose in the house when you get home.
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
I just ate part of my sock, this has got to stop.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize
