Please dont use Danity Kane lyrics to describe your emotions.
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I'm sitting at home, day drinking, while watching crossroads with brittany spears. I'm not the person you should be asking for advice right now.
I think we should go through the tsa checkpoint with raging hardons when we go through LAX. I think we should pass out some viagra to everyone
Good morning love! Friendly reminder that we decided to make leggings with a vagina zipper. "For the winter quickie"
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
I asked him to tell me a bedtime story, then threw up on him.
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
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