so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
The smartest thing I've heard Obama do is call Kayne West a jackass
just upgraded from jello shots to jello bowls blacking out just got that much more delicious
her tits were misleading. turns out she wasn't cool, smart and funny
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
vegan vag taste different. and not a good different
I don't think the TSA agent thought getting iced while searching my bag was as funny as I did.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
I wanna thank you for having such slutty friends growing up. Your a great little sister
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
I ate vegetarian today, so I deserve a beer.That's my justification.
It's like you're the voice of my soul.
You also once spent an entire hour explaining the origin of the strip steak to me.
I hate drunk me more than anyone else in this world
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