It smells like weed.
We are in Boulder, Everything smells like weed.
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
The dog just did a longer kegstand than anyone at the party
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
I lost it last night. That was humiliating. Cincinnati is now covered in my puke.
Little boy scout stared at me with judgmental looks while I bought 3 bottles of liquor but refused to buy popcorn from him
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
Fuck you for setting me up with the guy from the Nickelback cover band
Payback for not stopping me from fucking the guy in the wookie costume
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
He shit in the fireplace
IF THE SUNS NOT EVEN OUT THEN WHY IS HIS DICK OUT WTF
Everything is scary i hate being an adult i hate responsibility tell me a dick joke
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