there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
My nipple is on Facebook.
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
Exactly. Because my vagina can't be consoled with words. It requires a thicker form of communication
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
Passing out is my livers way of protecting my mind.
The band last night was really good
That was definitely karaoke. Guess that answers my follow up question on how drunk you were.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Randomize
