i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Did he leave or is he still there?
He left right away, I might have passed out. I saw your text and was like who left where? Then the oh shit feeling sunk in, hangover starting now.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
believe me... letting the man that delivered you from your mother's vagina do shots off your stomach is really fucking awkward.
the last girl i hooked up with and the last guy i hooked up with are hooking up right now. this is where bisexuality becomes a problem.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
She told me to wait on the sofa while she freshened up. She's been in the bathroom for an hour. I have a bad feeling about this.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
I realized after pounding back 151 and head banging into each other to "the drop" of that dub step song, that we weren't meant to have boyfriends at this point in time.
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
How’s the date going?? Do you think he’s gonna cut your face off and wear it to his birthday party?
I AM DRUNK AND AGGRESSIVE ABOUT CURLING!
The US is in the finals, aren't they.
Randomize
