just next time i won't let coke make me think I'm superman and drink a shit ton.
I don't know. The next thing I remember we were in the walmart parking lot making out.
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
MCAT status: Day 64, no longer can remember what sex is like.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Well good for him for getting your number before he told you he had no money and needed you to pay for his drink!
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
You will drink beer in a kiddie pool in your back yard but you wont bring a girl home
I just want to go home and eat bagel bites in my underwear
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Randomize
