"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
Renamed my iPod as 'the titantic' so when I plug it in it's says 'the titantic is syncing.'
i just remebered that we smoked out my hamster yesterday...
i hope hes still alive. i just remember you give him a shit load of cereal and saying "trust me your going to need it"
from the looks of the bare footprints in the snow it looks like i was dancing in circles which explains the frozen puke
Someday, but I will be heavily drugged and there will be no dolphins.
I'm not a horrible person, I just see what everyone chooses to politely ignore.. And occasionally say it aloud whilst deeply intoxicated.
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
Is it socially acceptable to be blind drunk at half five on a Monday afternoon?
Which pub are you in?
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
9 am booty call on your ex's birthday. Fuck yea
My Boss was giving porn recommendations. I think I'm scarred for life.
Randomize
