I bet he comes in French.
I may or may not have screamed I'M ON A BOAT while having sex...on a boat. I think I was born to have sex with him.
just watched her puke in her purse and put it back on the bar. then half hour later put her hand in her bag to get a pen to give me her number. I bet she is game for anything
can i drink enough to forget this semester even happened?
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
If I die I am blaming you for not answering to tell me the proper dosage of horse tranquilizers to take
Do you think if I puke at the gym they think is because I'm going hard walking on the treadmill?
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
please come home... she's showing me videos of spanish parrots and is telling me about her dead cousin...
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
I’ve seen not one, but three Facebook articles on my feed today about “how to eat ass”. Idk what the universe is trying to tell me but it’s needs to chill
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
