i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
It took me four clicks to get to 2009 on his profile. This can't work.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I concluded last night that you have no tear ducts, heart, or sense of any feeling.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
I was just crying my tits off and he was just sitting there listening. I was an open book of embarrassing life stories.
Wine is not your friend.
He left my apartment when I broke up with him just as my booty call was walking in. It was a little awkward...
Thanks to a poorly written tweet a whole bunch of people thought I died last night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Went to night shots with Kayla... she punched this guy and I got his friends number. Not sure if she's the best or worst wingman ever.
Panda onesie. Pizza. Netflix. Wrapped up like a burrito. Screw you guys and your cute relationships THIS IS WHAT INFINITE HAPPINESS TASTES LIKE
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
Fucking adderall I just talked at the security guard for 90 minutes
I will feel awake by 6 pm
Are we not meeting until 6?
No I'm just saying thats usually when my body knows it's time to party
Some sorority went “Dick or Treating” at a frat house and now the Halloween parties are canceled
Randomize