If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I don't know if I have the sustained energy level for partying hard
Not a choice. You are mistaking my comments as options. My statements are facts. This is what is happening.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
Apprently after I bit that bouncer, it all went down hill.
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
I will buy you batman underwear babe. I'll make sure you wear them every time we have to adult.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
It's bullshittery. It's asshattery. It's complete fuckery at its finest.
Randomize
