I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
You do realize that you're sleeping with a man who is part of a gay harem, right?
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Fun new game when high: sorting socks. Took forever. Was awesome.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Well two things you gotta know if you're gonna live here. your alcohol tolerance is gonna need to go up, and people do blow. Get used to it. Nobody is gonna pressure you into it. That shits expensive
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
He kept sending me videos of his dogs while I was trying to masturbate. At what point does getting vagina-block apply?
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
it was weird i started the party in just my underwear and woke up in my clothes
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