moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
Writing apology letters and leaving them on peoples doors for your actions is NOT what I want to be doing at 6am.
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
Jello bowls to the fucking face, that or ramen spiked with liq. Those are the only options in this house.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Just tried to do a line with a snorkel I cut off... that is how my Aruba trip is going!
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
There's a Russian superstition that you'll spend your year the way you celebrate New Year's, so I'm honestly not that surprised you're drunk.
Randomize
