You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
I ate a lot of your sunchips. I mean a lot. Like 4 to 5 bags.
I awoke in a cab to find myself on a ride to niagara falls. Apparently I paid the cab driver half up front.
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawnmower thinking of you
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
You were crying and asking his mom "why doesn't he like road head?"
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
it's a shower with the lights off kind of day
Mid thrust, say hold on I need a pic for my friend.
Randomize
