i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i popped this huge zit on her back while she was blowing me. it was like a disgusting metaphor for what happened 30 seconds later.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
Why is there a case of Coors Light with my address on it?
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
just found deep spiritual meaning in spongebob.... that high.
i'm glad we're now at the level of friendship where we can comfortably discuss the quality of our shit
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
Randomize
