How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
We need to talk in the morning. The guy I was with just interpreted me taking off my earrings as code for "let me take off my pants."
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
In other more interesting news I'm going to arrange a surprise orgy. You in?
I told him he was, quote: "A big cuddly bear" and he needed to get into my bed or I would set his Golden Retriever free.
I fill condoms, not promises.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Dude, you kicked in the door to get to a six-person orgy while yelling "I JUST WANT TO LEARN!!"
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
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