do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
yup, got lost on my way to the final. maybe i should have gone to this class all semester
I feel like tequila heightens the sense of my nipples.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I woke up next to her will a oven mit taped to my cock. Dear god, I might have tried to use it as a condom.
No more fucking baseball tools. Walk-of-shamed home in only a pinstriped jersey and a Red Sox SnapBack.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
While looking for socks, I found my mothers sex toy box. Dear god I finally understand where my kinkiness comes from.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
She may be more beautiful than I am, but I bet she hasnt pissed in as many public places as me...
Is 36 too old to fuck a college student? THIS IS BOTH IMPORTANT AND TIME SENSITIVE
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
