we got back to my place and he started talking about feelings. i politely told him to leave and that he managed to cock block himself.
Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
What is this red stuff in a water bottle in my fridge that's labeled "not for baby turtles"?
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
Hey. Hope youre not too hungover. Also, did you put a Christmas tree in my guest bathroom and cover it with condoms?
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
There arew tilmes ina man's life when christmaas. THerew are times in a man's lfie when drunk texts from a bathrom hyufgirto. So, you know, merry chriastmans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude respond to my evite. You're either coming to the orgy or not.
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
if you're wondering why I texted you some girl's name at 4 am it's because you wanted to Facebook stalk the girl who gave that Irish guy we met at the Chinese food place her license and said 'call me'
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize