i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
We need to go back to the barter system so I can sell my body and just be done with it.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
you kept saying how you wanted to mainline bacardi right into your bloodstream. medical school is doing wonderful things to your brain
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
He unliked all of my pictures on instagram, I don't know whats worse, the fact that he did it or the fact that I noticed..
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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