Do you ever close your eyes when your having sex with your girlfriend and pretend she didn't get fat after high school?
Black Friday shoppers are ridiculous. I think I just watched a marriage end.
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
It just feels wrong masturbating with my neighbor's cat in my apartment
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
I just had a full choir singing the phrase pudding cup in my head. Too. Stoned.
I am not sure which is more amazing; The fact that she offered me sex, beer AND nachos, or that she can properly use a semi-colon at her current blood alcohol level.
I fell asleep while studying last night and woke up smelling like whiskey and sex... words can not describe how confused I am
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Which sister was it? The one I accidentally hit when my shoe flew off or the one I ate candy off of when we were high?
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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