I was just about to go down on her when she gave herself a "smell check" and said "no, not today".
make sure you eat your skittles last so when you barf you can barf RAINBOWS.
I'm glad you enjoy my eating disorder so much.
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
wanna go with us to feed the ducks bread soaked in vodka?
how could i say no?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Is it bad that I recognize every dick in your dic pic collection?
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Also, if you don't fuck me soon, I will die. I don't want to die like that.
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
