Princeton has an emergency contraception worldwide website. It is in moments like these that I love my university
call me tomorrow and ask me about coke-whore stripper. It hasnt happened yet, but im sure it will be plenty disappointing.
You were pretty committed to that cat costume. Between pukes, you would meow and assure people that you just had a hairball you couldn't get out...
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
And all I wanted you to do is stand there and sing who let the dogs out.
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
Then she cat effected the picture of my dick I sent her the other night. I'm in love.
Just did the walk of shame in front of his dad while I was wearing his gym shorts and my heels from graduation last night. Keep it classy '12
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
I wore pigtails while I was having sex with that 22 year old just to make him feel like a pedophile.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
There were firefighters and a fire truck up the street. I asked what was wrong and their exact words were "Just a tiny explosion; it'll be all right"
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