my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
I woke up face first on my living room floor arms outstretched toward the christmas tree
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
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The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
The liquor store was handing out free shots of some new expensive vodka, but they caught on the fourth time we came back in different outfits. Politics.
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
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What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
You're not gonna like every guy whose dick I put in my mouth
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
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