the beds are so narrow its like a jenga threesome
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
Not really fighting over the same girl. He takes her out to dinner and then I come over and fuck her. We've worked out the perfect relationship.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Just so you know, this text is a buffer between the two guys I'm sexting. Can't get that shit messed up.
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
SPICY FOODS AND BLOWJOBS DON'T MIX.
YOU SAID YOU'D TRY ANYTHING ONCE YOU LIAR
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
Is it a bad thing when vodka doesn't taste like vodka anymore?
Randomize
