I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
birth control and beer are two of the most beautiful creations ever invented.
just saw a midget ride a motorized cooler into the liquor store. i'm gonna follow him home.
I mean, there was frosting being put on a tunafish sandwich. Pretty sure she knew we were high.
Just curious... Do you still have the cocks bracelet? You know, the one we pass around to whoevers been the biggest slut recently?
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
You have to summon your inner elephant
He stumbled in drunk at 7am, while we were getting ready for work. He poured a bowl of Cap'n Crunch, poured Jack Daniels on it., and said he was having "Captain Jack" for breakfast. I don't know how he's alive and employed. I hope the Cap'n calls in sick for him today.
And then the templeton police were like "oh I remember her, yeah the blue haired girl that we picked up cause she was passed out drunk on the side of the road"
I mean, the night I fell out of that bus I made you pour vodka onto my wound to clean it, then duct taped a paper towel to my hand and kept drinking.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
He fed me jello shota while i was sitting on the toilet and then he peed in the shower
But I thought it was so funny last night
You also thought you were a gypsy mermaid last night
DON NOT, UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES WATCH CLOWN PORN.
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