it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
I'm mad at him and disappointed with you. It's like I put a bunch of effort into a PowerPoint of "what not to do with Zach" to show you and the first bullet point was "do not love him" and you're just disregarding all my effort and friendship.
I have to make mistakes myself to learn from them
FUCK YOU I AM MAKING A POWERPOINT
1 tequila 2 tequila 3 tequila, floor.
*roof
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Also- should we send out holiday cards? That say, "Eat a dick, 2014"?
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
RAAAAAAAAWWWWRRRRRR
THATS ME HOWLING MY ENJOYMENT OF THE THINGS WE CAN DO WHILE GETTING DRUNK
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
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