When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
idk, i just don't think periods are something you can catch in a little cup.
We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
woke up with 15 BAGS of hot dog buns in my passenger seat... jameson strikes again
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
Remeber when I drunkenly made out with him this summer while he was getting bitched at by his girlfriend on the phone? Yeah, neither do I. But I'm pretty sure that same thing happened again last night.
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Just filled the brita up in the bathtub because we couldn't get it into the sink.
I only put bad things in my body...jack, caffeine, chocolate, pills, and rich's cock. It's like being holistic but exactly opposite
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
apparently while i was high i thought that putting a dinosaur temporary tattoo on my inner thigh would keep me from taking my pants off and having sex with him...
...it didn't...
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
i love how you, my friend, sends me a picture of herself wearing a shirt that says "i am dead inside" and i'm just like "awww baby you're so cute"
that's just solidarity
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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