So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
you better believe me or I'll punch you in the face
my dog ran away and came back with a marajuana plant. what are you doing tonight?
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Today should be called shooting fish in a barrel day. Every place ive gone to ive met a girl who regrets not hooking up last night. There have not been girls this easy since Fathers Day
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
We had sex this morning and after she goes, " So are we going to do something for Valentines Day?"
I have a ginormous moral hangover. Strip club blues.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
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He managed to scream "cowabunga bitch" before he went down on me. Let me know if you still like him.
Trick or treaters just rang our doorbell
Give them the moldy beer cans, we need to get rid of those
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
He texted me at 4:30 in the morning saying "I'm not drunk but I think you're beautiful" and then a facebook message at 6 am saying "hi" and the subject was "oh"
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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