No, don't ignore my call, i just need to know, whats cuter a pig in boots or a miniature horse sitting down..
I thnk I just saw a monkey walking a drunk guy.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
so high i just made my own version of grilled cheese using toast and spray cheese
here comes the puke
we were shitfaced at work by 8pm. I had to stop myself from pouring vodka in everyone's cappuccino.
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
I kindof just wanted to go downstairs and let his dad know how good his son was at sex
Im the macgyver of cooling down beers. The toilet tank was blocked so I couldn't use it.....
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just want to eat my penis shaped food in front of you and see how you feel about it.
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
Randomize
