your thong is hanging out like whoa
Omg. If Ina Garten Makes roast chicken one more time im going to strangle her with her white button down
The drink u got me is pineapple something w. Cigarete ashes in it.ima drink it anyway
the Monday before Thanksgiving is not a Monday at all. Just Thursday in Monday suit.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
I'm really really gonna try not to at least one night. The 4 day thanksgiving bender almost killed me last year
I mean, I love her. But not "I'll have a threesome with her." Type of love.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
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