please say your awake. the girl i brought home last night...any idea on a name? she isnt up yet...
How the hell am I supposed to know what lotion to get her? They should have a dressing booth where I could go test how good it is for jerking off, then I'd know.
just run out there and shit all over the driveway when he comes.. and then point at him
I really just want to stuff him in my purse, take him home, feed him pudding or applesauce and brush his hair. That's not creepy, right?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
for me, it's working out the tricky timing of the Viagra and nightly laxative.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
Did you actually just quote Ace Ventura during a sext!?
You know it
Dammit now I have to marry you
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
Randomize