U Should have said " it's ok baby most girls Sh*t when I do that.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
woke up at my desk with a paper in front of me that says "people stranded on islands love having wet dreams" what the fuck happened last night
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
And to think..we used to do everything sober...
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
They asked if I was about to puke and my response was to laugh and suddenly throw up. Continuing my asshole streak I kept laughing while still vomiting.
I threw up sweet potatoes. Worst thing to throw up ever. They came back mashed.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I have really important information for you regarding the furry convention this weekend
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
Me: I shouldn't go to the airport bar it's too expensive and I don't need it. Dark me: SHOTS AT 7 AM
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
3 weeks in a row I've pulled '69' at the deli counter...God is giving me shit for not getting laid in a year....
Randomize
