Oh and discovery of the day is it's the channel, not the time on your cable box. Thought it was 2:16 for 4 hours
Just looked at my outgoing calls. Seems I had a 7 minute convo with my 10th grade english teacher at 2:56 am Saturday...
Also...you were trying to touch his balls without him noticing
yeah, its right past the deli mart where i showed my right tit for mozzarella sticks.
Depending upon how the Sox game progresses, I'll either cry on the bar or fuck someone tonight...
official rule: if your drunk, it doesn't count
then nothing in my life counts
Maybe you can hide out somewhere she would never go. Like a counseling center or AA
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
God bless the petty bitch who invented screen shot
No we were too stoned to stop you from wiping the peanut butter all over the car.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Give it up bro. I’m not wearing pants or a bra and only an act of god could change that
I know its 2 in the morning and everything. But i just straight up yelled "DON'T YOU UNDERSTAND THIS WORLD IS DIFFICULT ENOUGH AS IT IS WITHOUT YOU PULLING THIS BULLSHIT ON ME" to my taco. Because it fell apart on me. I think i might be cracking under this finals pressure.
you fell asleep with her panties on your face. how are you surprised??
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