My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
why is it whenever you puke in the park there are always little kids on the swings?
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Just had a flashback of dry humping a man lying in the street while Jim (dressed as santa) screams 'HAVE YOU BEEN A GOOD BOY?!'
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I'm not even pretending to study anymore. I'm straight up sleeping in the library
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
I still think he’s a fuckboy but he’s nice to me when I’m over.\nLike sets alarms for me in the morning and always makes sure I cum.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
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