I totally ignored my nose and drank sour milk this morning. The tupid carton said 4/22/09. i puked everywhere..
Me hooking up with her is like rush being president. Bad news.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
you screamed santa and jumped in front of 50 kids to tell him you wanted a bong for christmas.
Aaaaand that would be the most of my hand I've ever fit into a vagina before.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I made the jerking off hand motion to my mother by accident this morning. It was awkward for everyone involved.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
I think the cashier could tell I was sad. All I bought was penis shaped food and chocolate
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
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