so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
if you don't let us come over today i'm not taking the second plan b pill. your call.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
How do I put "special brownies" into Weight Watchers?
Do you remember snorting allspice and yelling at doughnut shop girl?
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Will give head in exchange for a Netflix password. Serious inquiries only please.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I heard a crunch while giving him head. I looked up and he was eating Cheese Itz. So we made a deal that he'd take a hand job so I could eat them too.
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