I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
So basically i got outta bed and started peeing on the a/c unit..when my roommate tried to stop me i looked at him and said "i got this"
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I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
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Invited the whole bar back to my place for an after party.....shit got real with everyone seeing dad drink moonshine like a champ.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
Going to give your dick a friendship bracelet.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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